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How far have we lowered the Bar?

I had the great pleasure of working with a group of Management Trainees in the People’s Republic of Adelaide last week and, by pure coincidence, we were covering Customer Service Strategies.

And, as I usually do, I try to set the scene by asking a simple question: “When was the last time your service expectations were exceeded?”

Not, you will notice, the more obvious question of “When was the last time you had poor service?” That’s WAY too easy and usually gets the comment of “What time is it now?”

I really like to start off with a positive so we can focus on what DOES work and try to do more of that…
One guy puts his hand straight up and tells me “Yesterday!” I’m thinking this is as fabulous as it is unusual and beg him to continue.

“I eat a lot of junk food as I’m single, hate cooking and I’m always short of time” (He certainly didn’t look like a junk food fan – maybe he has a very fast metabolism?)

Anyway…back to the plot…

“Yesterday I was at Hungry Jacks and asked, as I always do, for my burger to come without ketchup, mayo or gherkin. When it arrived, I opened it and there was no ketchup, no mayo and no gherkin”

Slightly bemused, I asked, “And this this exceeded your expectations because…?”

“Because they always leave it in and I have to scrape it off before I eat it!” he said with a big cheesy (not gherkin!) grin!

Basically, what this happy chappie was telling me was that actually getting what he ordered, what he paid for was exceeding his expectations. Stunning isn’t it…???…!!!

Only two or three people from that group of 12 could come up with anything that exceeded expectations sufficiently to be memorable. And those, whilst not as painfully low as the first guy, were still basically providing the service we pay for – a fridge that was delivered upstairs, plugged in and levelled before the guys left…you know the sort of thing…

So exactly HOW low has the bar reached when this type of thing is considered “exceeding expectations”?

Answer: I think a cockroach would struggle to limbo dance under that bar now!!!

BUT – this is GREAT news for those of you who do “get” what good customer service is all about because, and please forgive the vernacular here, it doesn’t take much to shine in a bucket of s**t – apparently simply providing what people ask and pay for will delight quite a few of your customers!

For those who are more discerning maybe add a smile, a thank you and a “free” biscuit with their coffee and they’ll be customers for life!

For example – for cheap and cheerful “stuff” in department stores in Australia we have a choice, basically, of three. You know who I mean…

So I was in the largest one’s Indooroopilly branch on Saturday with my little girl looking for Easter goodies and, as we were walking is, I was expecting the usual “Hi. How are you today?”

What we got was the BIGGEST smile I’ve ever seen and “Good Morning. Welcome to Kmart. Love your outfit sweetie!” (Directed at Emma, not me – just in case you were wondering!)

And this wasn’t the first time I’d noticed this young lady and her enthusiasm – she’s ALWAYS the same. I don’t know about you, but I would struggle to be that bright, that enthusiastic even for 20-30 minutes sessions. I complimented her on her cheeriness and she accepted the compliment and gave me another BIG smile.

Now that’s simply a matter of ATTITUDE isn’t it? You can choose to enjoy what you do and let it show or, to use that great Aussie phrase, you can walk around with a face like a slapped arse!

I respond way better to the former than the latter and I expect you do to!

So can we PLEASE try and raise that bar? Just a wee bit? SMILEY PLEASE!!!



Telling a blatant lie is NOT the best way to keep a customers respect!

I’ll keep this blog shorter than the phone call that it’s about…

My phone rings with a number I don’t recognise, but I’m between two meetings with managers at my biggest client, so I take the call.

“Good morning Mr Slater. My name is Susan from xxx and I’m calling on behalf of the xxx Bank (my bank). Could you spare one or two minutes for a survey we’re conducting on behalf of the bank?”

ME: “Provided it IS only a couple of minutes, yes”

“Absolutely and I’ll talk faster and make sure it’s less!”

And off we go…and go…and…go…

According to my phone, I finally said good bye to Susan SEVEN minutes and 46 seconds later!

All of this palaver was because I had used their automatic deposit machine to deposit a cheque from a client. (I know – who uses cheques anymore? But, hey, it’s still legal currency and I’m not about to complain!)

I resolved to answer the questions as quickly, honestly and without query as I could.

Most involved me answering on a scale of 1-10 – you know the drill, right? And some asked for specific answers.

Such as “Which branch’s auto-teller did you visit?” “Did you deposit cash or cheques?” and “Was this the first time you had used an auto-teller at the xxx Bank?”

ALL of which I would have thought, the bank would already know – so why waste my time asking?

A significant number of the questions, whilst not identical, were so similar as to make no differential sense whatsoever and, to be honest, by the end, I was just giving numbers without thinking (or caring!)
Which begs the obvious question – what, exactly, is the value or the validity of the answers they get? I would suggest not very much!

Unfortunately I didn’t get the chance to ask Susan these questions because, after almost eight minutes on the phone, my next meeting was waiting for me.

A five minute call that stretches to seven+ is forgivable. But “one or two” minutes that makes it to almost eight – that’s just a lie!

Now I fully accept that if Susan had asked me for eight minutes of my time then I, and I suspect an awful lot of people, would have said “no”. And I also accept that this in turn would make the researcher’s job much harder. But that is THEIR problem – not mine!

Either be honest about how long this will take OR reduce the number of questions so that you can get at least close to the agreed time.

Then, and ONLY then, will the answers you get be both valid and valuable!

Keeping it honest!



I LOVE technology…BUT… (Part 2)

I mean it – I REALLY do!!!

I love that I can shop online for all my favourite stuff.

I love that I can speak “face-to-face” with friends anywhere in the world on Skype (and it’s FREE!).

And I love that phone calls with people, companies and organisations various can now be “fun”…

Except… when they’re NOT!!!

My interesting, if more than a little frustrating, saga begins with a letter from a Federal Government Department, dated the 1st of the month telling me I need to amend some details within 14 days or the Hounds of Hell would descend on me.

Slight problem was that the letter didn’t arrive until the 9th so I was already 8 days into my allocated 14 days. The weekend arrived within hours and, of course, these departments don’t work when we’re free to answer their officious demands…hey ho – nobody said life was easy…

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Gone With the Wind – the Rhett Butler guide to Customer Service…

Yes it’s time to rant – again, and you will understand me when I say it started when I was dealing with a phone provider….

The failure to resolve the issue, the failure to keep me in the loop as to the progress and the failure frankly to give a rats and make me just wait.    And wait.      And wait just a little more leading my sense of almost homicidal frustration. (Thankfully I have over my years of working behind the Iron Curtain in Russia acquired the skill of patience to soften those homicidal tendencies!)

Of course this is the exact moment of me to regale you with a story from Mother Russia a number of years ago…

In the old days of Russia, when almost every necessity was in short supply, there is a tale of a man who waited 5 years to rise to the top of the list of those entitled to buy a car – yes back then Russians were ‘chosen’ for car ownership…weird I know…

Well this man fills out the required 20 forms, makes his deposit at the Dept. of Transport and is told “Your car will be delivered in 3 years’ time’

Being the polite Russian he is he asks “Will that be in the morning of the afternoon?”

The officious Transport employee bluntly asks ‘What possible difference could that make?”

The concerned Russian quietly replies “Well the plumber is coming in the morning”

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I LOVE technology…BUT… (Part 1)

As a fairly slow adopter of “new technologies” in the early nineties in the last 20 years I have embraced it fully – even if some of it still seems like “magic” to me.

About 3-4 years ago my IT guy took my phone, loaded an app and then tapped our phones together and a photo from his phone was suddenly on MY phone. I’m like WOW!!!

And the vast majority of said technology improves efficiency and (should) add to the customer service experience.

BUT…sometimes all it does is create WHAT…???…!!! moments…

So, to todays rant…

I took my little girl last week to see the new movie “Sing” (recommended by the way – much better than the reviews I saw!) and booked and paid for the tickets on line. Basically I do all the work, saving the cinema time and, presumably, wages in the process. I don’t mind – it means I don’t have to wait in a queue.

BUT…having saved the company money I REALLY object to having to pay a “Booking fee”!!!

I checked some other cinemas and the booking fee isn’t even a standard amount – it ranges from 30c ticket to 90c per ticket. At the higher end that means, effectively, a “tax” on me doing all the work of 5%.

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Saying NO is more important than you think…

You finally get around to organising that weekend away with the family – you know, the one you’ve been promising for the last 100 weekends – when your boss comes to you on Thursday afternoon and says: “We’ve just found out that we’ve won that new contract! But we must have all the logistics in place by next Friday. You’re the only one here that can do that, Jack, but I’m afraid it’s going to mean you working this weekend”.

You start off on the right track… “I’ve got some family commitments this weekend…”, but then you pause…and the boss doesn’t fill the crucial silence…so you do…”but, I suppose I could re-arrange those…” and the deal is sealed with, “Thanks Jack – I knew I could rely on you!”

So why didn’t you say “no”? Was it because the whole team is depending on you? Maybe it’s because the annual reviews are due in the next couple of weeks and you really don’t want a black mark against your name at this time of year? Or do you just lack the assertiveness to spit it out? It could be something as simple as the fact that your family are easier to negotiate with than your boss – BUT, ask yourself who you would miss more if they weren’t around…???…!!!

I’m sure you could add your own examples here…but the main issue is very simple…

Saying, “Yes” when we really mean (and want to say!), “NO” is one of the biggest causes of extra work and associated stress.

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